Which idiot said Jim Carrey is the funniest man in Hollywood????.... Which ignorant said Eddie Murphy was a good was the funny-man??.... Who claimed that you need to watch the Drew Carrey show to laugh your holy guts out??? …… Who dared to say Seinfeld is the most amazing comedian on television??.... All those who make such claims are traitors of ORKUT…… u spend hours of your life to something that is addictive for nuts and are not grateful enough to acknowledge that ORKUT gives you your daily those of laughter…… you seriously can roll to the ground laughing or rupture a rib…… Have you ever given an iota of importance to ORKUT’S TODAY’S FORTUNE???... if you haven’t, then unfortunately you are missing out on some of the funniest ever predictions of your life….. You don’t believe me, then just look at my exclusive, priceless, timeless collection of some masterpieces:

1. The heart is wiser than the intellect…… that’s why I fall in love with every girl I see… Christ said love one and all as I loved you

2. Answer just what your heart prompts you…… my heart prompts me to propose to myprofessor in college, who is thrice my age behind whom I’ve been running for 2 years

3. You will advance socially…. I suffer 4m autism….. Now what do I do?

4. You are the center of every group's attention….. Euphemistic way of saying you r d JOKER of your group and people tolerate you because you provide them with tax-free entertainment

5. You and your wife shall be happy….. What if I was a girl?!?!?…. India doesn’t allow same-sex marriages… means I would remain a DEVDAS for the for time-immortal

6. You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy…. I know I am CHARMING… that goes without saying, doesn’t it??... now COURTESY…. Umm?? … eh?...eh??... I’ll tell you if I know the meaning of such a Latin bad-word

7. You will be getting new clothes…. WTF??!!??.... that’s all what I wanna say

8. You have prospects of a foreign trip…. My legal cum biological father till today didn’t take me……… mebbe I need 2 find a father to take me abroad.

9. A good time to finish up old tasks…. I 1ce planned to kill a person who completed by love polygon… but d next day I watched Lagey Raho Munabhai n turned non-violent… now what????

10. Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought…. Rite… those who don’t think r narcissistic, snobs, egoistic

11. You will never need to worry about a steady income…. My grandfather bequeathed me a fortune of 100 kilos of gold, 200 buffaloes, 500 horses, 1000 acres of mango plantations, herd of 1000 sheep, 4 deluxe flats in Cuffe Parade and a 3 bedroom flat over-looking Buckingham Palace… wish he made a Taj Mahal in PINK marble too so I cud lease to Lakshmi Mittal 4 his 50th wedding anniversary

12. You’ll be changing your line of work…. Someone as useless as me hu only blogs wont 4 nuts change his line of work…… mebbe Bill Gates would start a Joint Venture of Pheplas n Khakras

13. Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you ... rite... i looked left, i saw my loud-mouth neighbour... i saw right, i saw d pig... front of me is d desktop n behind me is my mum hu is gettin ballistic coz i've been on d comp for d past 3 hrs.... wherz happiness??.... where????.. temme where??

14. Avoid a hasty decision - i was to marry 2morrow and thanx to orkut i cancelled d plan.... else i wud ended up marrying a she-male.... i am indebted to orkut to their favour and henceforth i shall use orkut d whole day as a sign of my gratitude to their yeoman service to humanity

15. Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals..... i was so inspired by dis dat i gifted a beggar my vest..... d fella threw it bak @ me n said.... U ass, mine's JOCKEY, urs is RUPA