When I was a small little toddler, my mumma used to tell me “If you do well in life, you will get a prize.” As innocent as I was (I still am), I always believed that all these wannabes who walked up the garish, dazzling, glittering stages of film award ceremonies to were awarded the Black Lady (now there r all versions of it… 4m golden to techno mix to DC modifications)….. I was so touched by their gratitude, gratefulness, thankfulness… they never ever forgot to THANK anyone… rite form their wives to their neighbour’s wives, from their children to God knows whose children, from their friends to enemies (een their dreaded enemies r friends 4 d night… amazing, isn’t it??)

As time passed, I realized the THANK U speech barely has any sort of alteration… it was so uniform…. Its like some great writer or statesman in the past in his magnum opus prescribed this heart-felt, sincere, genuine, authentic, frank, candid, honest (I just ran out of synonyms) THANK YOU which is worth billions and only these few self-assumed privileged freaks have managed to get their hands on this masterpiece….which they can now proudly recite in before a gathering of some highly artificial, coloured, designed, ornamented, decorated, bejeweled, adorned cartoons…. they call themselves THE FILM FRATERNITY… I am so touched by their bhai-chara… they would do anything for the love of each other…. At least that is the way they put it…. the manner in which they praise each-others tails is a wonder to watch…. Coming back to the hyped, glamorous, alluring award ceremonies, I am just amazed at all the effort these highly committed people put in to be proud participants of a fiasco that lasts for just one evening… whats even more baffling is that none of them are even remotely amused to strut about in such a circus… the most annoying facet of this whole pandemonium is that these few self-proclaimed stalwarts of minimum IQ levels feel rather privileged, honoured, blessed, consecrated and fortunate to be a part of something as stupid and as dim-witted as this…. Every year some ridiculous categories of awards are initiated… Best New Face (mebbe d person got a plastic surgery), Best New Dance with old songs, Lifetime Achievement for a Debutant…. U can’t blame the organizers for that…. What if a SRK just graces the occasion without prior notice… u need to felicitate such a luminary who has rendered yeoman service towards the progress of the film industry.....

The spiciest and the raunchiest attractions of this insanity (ooooohhhhhhhhhhh…… aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh) are some anorexic, delicate, fragile skeletons wrapped in a few scraps of cloth, sway about on such a gigantic stage (they call it an amazing, a scintillating dance performance…. NB: definitions may vary)… just as they set foot on the stage, the scenes there are worth-watching (unfortunately not worth-describing)

Deep in my heart when I think of this all the people who are hallowed to be part of such an exclusive human-circus, I have a wish from my heart that says... “Let them get all that they desire …. They deserve nothing.